Why do I bother?

I fucking hate Valentine's Day. It's the one day a year I dread more than any other because I know that it's not going to be anything other than a painful reminder of how unworthy of being loved I am. Which makes it all the more pathetic that each and every year I still go to these Valentine's Day events in the desperate hope of being proven wrong for once.

Of course, it never works out that way. I never learn my lesson. Or maybe I am just a sucker for the pain and want to hurt myself by making a point of how miserable I am.

Or perhaps it is just my annual attempt to understand what makes my company so unattractive to everyone. I mean, I know that I don't have the most sparkling of personalities and that I can be quite stand off-ish with people who I haven't yet established a level of comfort with, but, on the flip side, I don't think that I've got the sort of utterly rancid personality that would explain why time and time again I go to these events and not a single person can be bothered to acknowledge my existence.

Surely, even a shitty person could expect to attract a little bit of attention based purely from their looks when spending over 4hrs at event that never had less than 350 in attendance? Not me though... 

Maybe I just radiate an unwelcoming aura that scares people off? Or perhaps I shoot myself in the foot be continually oversharing my thoughts on here? It could be that I keep exposing how much of a shitty person I am each time I sit down to tell you about something? 

But I don't think it is that. Experience tells me that very few people give I shit about what I actually have to say. I doubt anyone can form any sort of opinion on my character based on that. Instead, they just want to see some lewd pics and then move on without every really taking a moment to read anything. 

For instance, I could probably just insert a load of non-sensical drivel here and would anyone even notice? I doubt it! So, just like my annual appearance at the community Valentine's Day event, why do I even bother? Maybe I should just go away and stop polluting the community with whatever negative aura I apparently have. I'm so fucking tired of feeling inadequate.

Anyway, as you brave few who have actually bothered to read this far can no doubt tell, I have little appetite for discussing what I did and didn't like about this year's event. Instead, I'll just give you what everyone else wants; a bunch of random pictures to quickly scan over. Pictures that do a much better job of showing how pathetic and miserable I felt while being ignored by everyone than anything I could actually say. 

FML.