Saturday 24 December 2022

Pass the mistletoe


OK, let's start by addressing the elephant in the room; whilst last night's Christmas Party was pretty spectacular, there was one glaring oversight. One so glaring that it is almost unforgivable. One which most certainly must be remedied for next year's party, in whatever form that may be.

What was this oversight? I'll get to that in a moment, once I have properly set the scene. So picture this; you're heading off to the biggest party around, but you want to make sure that you get every done there that you possibly can, so you prepare yourself a little to-do list of things that you want to achieve. After all, it is very easy to can distracted or side-tracked at these sort of events and you end up missing out on things.

Now imagine that you manage to tick off every single thing on your to-do list except for one. The very last item on the list but theoretically the easiest one. One that you would 100% expect to be able to get done so you keep it until last because you want to focus on the more challenging items to get ticked off. The ones that you might miss out on if you don't act swiftly.


So what was the last thing on my list? What was it that prevented me from achieving a clean sweep of my intended festive fun?

It was to enjoy some kissing under some mistletoe, of course! A festive custom that is surely known to all. At least, that is what I thought. But there was not a single spring of mistletoe to be seen. I hunted high and I hunted low but there was none to be found. I even asked Santa for directions to the nearest mistletoe but that came to naught.

My dreams of loitering under the mistletoe and snogging any random guy who came within kissing distance were dashed. I even pictured a queue of guys waiting to take their turn with me. But it end up being just that; a dream. All because of an unexplainable oversight.

At least I managed to tick everything else off my list though. And I suppose you are wondering what those items were, so let's start with the first one on the list, which is something I have already alluded to, and that is meet Santa.

That's right, Santa and his very naughty elves (who all looked extremely cold and in danger of catching hypothermia) were there to do an in-person meet and greet. That's the magic of Santa; he can turn up to these sort of parties all around the globe and still get his day job done. It definitely wasn't a proxy attending on his behalf. Something like that would never happen.

I even wrote him a very nice letter which read as follows:

"Dear Santa. The only thing that I would like for Christmas this year is an exclusive selfie with you. And, if it isn't too much bother, also a box or orange Lindor and a tube of lube. I know I have occasionally been a naughty girl this year, but most of the time I have been very good, I promise. Love Laura xx"

Santa must have liked my letter as I got my Christmas wish. Well, the first part anyway. I guess I'll have to wait for Christmas Day to learn if I get the rest.

Anyway, after getting a selfie and a hug with Santa, it was onto item number 2 on my to-do list. which was to give a Christmas pressie to community legend, the one and only, Gizmo. He normally turns up to these sort of events but I couldn't take it for granted that he would be there when I was around. For that reason, I got there nice and early, just 15mins after the doors opened. 


And there he was, rocking his usual beanie and 8 bit shades. He was even doing his trademark 'I'm a little teapot dance'. What a legend. My instinct to get in there early with him was well-founded, or so I thought, when he disappeared after not too long. However, he returned shortly later in a slightly more festive outfit. Total legend.

Handing over a pressie to him was not only an easy task to accomplish then, but also the first one ticked off my list. To make things even sweeter, he even gave me one in return! I suppose he is like an XGold billionaire or something and probably had a few sacks worth of gifts ready to hand out to guests, but it still made me feel pretty special that I got something.

Of course, I also had a gift for Lisa because she is also a massive legend. Not only that, but she was the subject of the third item on my to-do list, which was to photobomb either her or Gizmo while they were grooving on the dancefloor.

The hardest part of this one wasn't finding her on the dancefloor. It was waiting for all the adoring fans her were swarming her to part long enough for me to get a clear shot of her with me acting like a goon in the background. Patience is a virtue and I eventually got it.

That was it; all four items on my party to-do list and only the last one left uncompleted. Such a shame but I should stress that I still enjoyed the party very much. Had I been able to enjoy a good bit of tonsil tennis with some random stranger, I may even be hailing this as my favourite mega party yet.

The winter wonderland venue was gorgeous, as you'd expect from an event like this. Simple stunning. I particularly liked all of the little gingerbread men that were dotted around the venue. They were super cute and a few of them appropriately suggestive for our perverted little community.


The over-sized snowglobes were also super cool (no pun intended). As were the various dance teams, whose outfits were festively on-point. 

The giant fondue fountains were also a delicious touch. Yum yum yum.

And how could I forget about the giant Polar Express that was flying overhead, spilling its load of gifts and treats onto the dancefloor below. I will leave it to you to decide if the few guests that climbed up onto it were either extremely brave or extremely foolhardy.

Which convenient leads into how all of the guests also did their part in spreading Christmas cheer. Their festive outfits were many and varied, although, much like with Santa's elves, I'd question how practical some of them were for the wintery weather. But regardless of how appropriate some may have been for the seasonal weather, all embraced the spirit of the holidays! 


Perhaps Jess was the most brave with her clothing choices though. 

Although she turned up in her Christmas pyjamas, which was a brave decision in and of itself, at various times in the night, she managed to find herself wearing much less. 

Santa certainly didn't mind too much when she bared her boobies for a hug with him though. Apparently, when she then sat on his lap, the candy cane in his pocket grew considerably. 

Then ,later in the evening, for some reason that I can't even remember, Jess found herself boogieing with her bare ass out on display in the middle of the dancefloor. 

Just another typical night out with everyone's favourite slut, I suppose.

Merry Christmas one and all! xx



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