"She ditched out on me to wash her hair, so I'm doing the old Netflix and cumstand tonight."
Selfie swallow - "When you lay on your own back while hoisting your legs up over your own face and cumming in your own mouth then swallowing it.", Urban Dictionary.
"I was so horny I preformed a selfie swallow on myself."
Femdom facial - "A femdom facial is where the female instructs the male to prop himself upside down so his penis is above his mouth and she masturbates him until he cums onto his own face or open mouth. This is sometimes done while she fingers him or while pegging", Urban Dictionary.
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