Welcome Distractions

Titty Tuesday is probably not the wisest day of the week to debut a new one piece swimsuit. You know, because, if any of usual suspects have their way, that's going to mean my whole outfit disappearing in one go rather than just my top. It's an all or nothing kind of situation.

So, it was with a certain degree of trepidation that I decided to risk it and try to get away with it at Snowbunny Beach today. Some times you've just got to grab the bull but the horns and go for it. Especially when you've got a brand new something to wear and are eager to show it off.

Much to my relief, Emmy was faced with plenty of distractions that kept her attention off my lack of nudity. Initially recovering from the good fucking that she'd received shortly before I arrived. And then, before she could set her sights on unleashing my boobs for the world to see, her wife arrived to keep her very occupied.

And, when I say very occupied, I mean Kem's face buried between her legs to give her multiple orgasms, kind of occupied. As fond as Emmy is of my cute tits, they cannot compete with that sort of attention. Which was bloody good news for me! Well, until Kem had done her business and moved along, which then left my swimsuit firmly in Emmy's crosshairs. 

It had been nice while it lasted but remaining covered up just wasn't going to be permitted by Emmy any longer. Before I could make even a token gesture of defending my decency, she was tugging my swimsuit down to me ankles, leaving me stood there in my birthday suit.

For what its worth, Emmy, in a show of nude solidarity, discarded her thong so that I didn't have to be the only bare body in the pool. She's all heart that one. A pretty good kisser too. Who am I kidding? She's one of the very best.

You can leave your sandals on

My last visit to Legs Wide Open turned out to be a very lewd affair so I've been keen to get back there to do some more perving. For whatever reason, their opening hours and my free time have never quite aligned, denying me any opportunity to make that happen.

Thankfully, my luck finally changed yesterday and I was able to make an appearance at, what in my opinion at least, is the community's finest whorehouse for gentlemen looking to spend some time (and money) with their stunning girls. And yes, I might be a bit biased because Jess and Emmy are two of my closest friends. There can be no denying how gorgeous and accomplished at empty balls of cum they both are though.

The obvious highlight of my last visit was getting to not, just perv on Emmy and Kem double teaming one lucky guy, but to have them deliberately put on a performance with him for my perving pleasure. This time round though, it was Jess who I got to see in action, as she was just getting down to business with the first of her punters for the day. (I do so love how the windows into each of the private rooms at Legs Wide Open make allow me to witness every lewd act being performed within)

However, there was no getting up close and involved in that action this time. Just as I was enjoying a good perv, my elusive husband, Ace, joined me at the bar. Which, of course, presented a different sort of opportunity for some fun.

Playful banter between us soon took a turn for the naughty, which left only one thing on my mind; how much I wanted my husband's cock... Something I tried to make abundantly clear to him by giving my ass a sexy little wiggle for him. The intent of my sexy dancing was definitely received, especially after I started to inch my dress up to bare more and more of my ass for his admiration. After a couple of cheeky spanks, Ace was very happy to follow me into the back of the club to find a room where we could enjoy each other's company.

On a side note, our disappearance into the back coincided with Jess re-emerging, having completely drained her first set of balls into her greedy pussy. Not one to waste time though, she immediately made a beeline for her next punter, who she too was soon leading into the back for her second round of the day.

Anyway, back to Ace and I... 

I invited him to get things started by helping me out of my tight and sexy dress. I can assure you that he didn't need to be asked twice to start slowly lowering the zipper on the front of my dress. And, as the zip reached the bottom and became detached, my dress fell away, leaving me in nothing but my lace knickers and my 'fuck me' boots. 

I could practically see the stars in Ace's eyes as he beheld my full and perky tits. He muttered something about them being his own slice of heaven as he bent forwards to press his lips against my bare boobs. Soft moans of approval from me encouraged him to keep going. Much to my delight, he licked and sucked and nibbled at my nipples.

In return, my hands fumbled around under his t-shirt to unbutton his shorts, which were down around his ankles just moments later. In doing so, I couldn't help but notice the bulge already developing in his boxers. I brush the palm of my hand up and down the length of his cock through the material of his underwear.

And, speaking of underwear, my knickers were next to go. Without separating his lips and tongue from my boobs for even a moment, Ace reached down and forcefully yanked my sexy undies down to my knees, from where they were then free to fall to my ankles. I stepped out of them, one foot at a time, and then dived on to the soft, bouncy bed ready to be joined by my hubby.

As I rolled over to look up at my hubby, I patted the bed next to me, beckoning him to join for some hot and sexy fun. With a grin on his face, Ace bent to the floor, dropping his boxers to the floor as he did so, and then clambered onto the edge of the bed where I greeted him with a deep and passionate kiss.

My hand, almost with a mind of its own, could not resist grabbing hold of that big piece of meat swinging between his legs. While that hand began stroking up and down his fat shaft, my other hand pressed flat against his chest, pushing him back until he was lying down.

With him in a nice and comfortable position, I firmly gripped his manhood with both hands. One hand above the other, they moved up and down in unison, stimulating the entire length of Ace's dick, from the very base all the way to the tip of the head.

Only, for a moment, did I switch back to single hand stroking. Just while I gave him a helping hand (literally) by getting the zips on my boots started. He was then able to unzip them the rest of the way before tugging the boots off and casting them aside. (For the record, I hope that Legs Wide Open has a lost and found because I only realised when I got home later that I had done so barefoot because I forgot to retrieve them after we were done. What a numpty!)

Continuing to slowly stroke his cock with both my hands, I had a naughty little thought. One that I was slightly apprehensive to voice. But I figured that the worst that could happen was that Ace would just tell me he wasn't into it, so I went for it!

His hands felt so nice as they ran up and down my bare legs as they lay on his chest, I couldn't help but want him to give my toes a little nibble since they were right there in front of his face. His initial confusion at my request had me fearing the worst but I needn't have worried. I was quite prepared to give it a go if it would make me happy.

My giggles would have been a sure give away that I enjoyed him teasing my toes. Possibly the increasing rate that I was jerking him off too. It wasn't something I consciously decided to do but, as a sort of auto-pilot kicked in while I was distracted by his teasing, my hands got faster and faster to give a very physical indication of how my excitement levels were rising.

Still focused more on his delightful nibbling than what my own hands were doing, I suggest that maybe he would like to nibble me somewhere else instead. Perhaps, say, between my legs where my throbbing bean was just aching to be stimulated.

Not for the first time during this hook up, Ace silently grinned at me before slowly sitting up whilst simultaneously carefully tilting me backwards onto my back. Grabbing my ass, he lifted it up off the sheets so that he could hook my legs over his shoulders and get a face full of slightly damp flower.

I do so fucking love it when a man is willing to be assertive and man handled me like that so this act shot my arousal levels through the roof. And then, as if that was not enough, I felt his damp tongue brush across my swollen clit. Sparks of electricity shot throughout my entire body and all I could do was whimper and tremble.

Ace's tongue circled around my bean and then ran the length of my slit and back again. Then, he carefully parted my lips with his fingers as he lapped at my delicate flower. Whilst holding my pussy wide with one set of fingers to get a nice taste of me with his tongue, his spare slowly tickled at my clit, driving me absolutely wild.

I was in heaven. I lay there with my eyes closed and soft moans and whimpers emanating from within me. I could have laid there forever letting him continue to do that but I let him know that I was already more than ready to take my than just his tongue inside me. But, rather than prioritise his own pleasure, he kept going.

To show my appreciation for the amount of attention he was willing to give my lady parts, I fumbled around underneath me with my hand, trying to find where his cock was. Eventually, my fingertips brushed its head but most of it was out of reach. Nevertheless, I teased the tip as best I could, just to remind Ace that he could give it to me as soon as he wanted.

Not wanting to let my spare hand idle and go to waste, I grabbed handfuls of my boobs, going back and forth between them. squeezing and massaging them while my hubby continued to diligently lick me out.

Like I said, I could have let this go on forever. But I also really wanted to get fucked, so there were no complaints from me when Ace finally made his move.

First, he carefully lowered my bum down onto the bed, letting my legs slide from over his shoulders. With my legs no longer resting on him, he was then free to pull his t-shirt off over his head to bare his muscular chest as he kneeled before my prone body.

Ace then pounced on me, pinning my hands above my head as he pressed his body between my legs. With me at his mercy, shuffled into position so that the head of his cock was rubbing against my slickened slit. A bit of manoeuvring of his hips was required to align the tip so that it sat snuggly on top of but not yet between my swollen pussy lips.

And then he pushed inside me, his throbbing cock parting my lips as he slid inside. A long hard groan escaped me and my eyes rolled back as his fat member stretched my insides to accommodate him. Although tightly gripping him, my well-lubricated walls offered little resistance as he eased himself all the way in until his balls were pressed firmly against my ass.

Lifting me head from the bed, I kissed him deeply once again and then gave him a nod of silent approval to begin fucking me in earnest. The tingles of pleasure that I received as he did just that caused me to involuntarily drop my head back on the soft bed but his lips chased after mine as we continued to kiss.

Deep but steady thrusts began to build a bit of momentum as his whole body rocked bath and forth. The clap of his balls against me at the apex at each of his thrusts gradually got louder and louder as he ramped up the force with which he was giving it to me. Still fairly steady but deep and hard. Repeatedly, he slammed into me and then slowly withdrew, just to slam it back in again. Over and over he did this to me. All I could do in response was moan and groan with approval every time his dick rubbed across my G-spot.

Without compromising the depth and force with which he was giving it to me, Ace then also started to pick up the pace. The regular clapping sound of his balls against my skin was barely audible over me cries of pleasure and heavy breathing. Simultaneously, the wet squelching sound every time he spreads my inside walls with his fuck stick was becoming ever more apparently.

Clenching with all my might I squeezed his cock inside me while my legs clamped tightly around his body. My back started to arch up off the bed sheets as Ace relentless fucked me towards my climax. I begged him to make me cum and then silence as my face contorted.

My body stiffened and clenched against his. Then a few seconds of intense trembling before I screamed at the top of my lungs that I was cumming all over his cock.

Without pause, Ace kept railing me. Not even a hint of easing up as he continued to repeatedly drive his cock into me deep and hard. Every thrust felt like it was renewing the orgasmic sensations that were overwhelming my body as my orgasm went on and on for what felt like an eternity.

Eventually though, the orgasmic bliss started to fade and my trembling body went limp, just in time for Ace to give me a last few short sharp thrusts before emptying his balls inside me. His warm cream filled me up but I was too far gone to give much of a reaction. All I could do was let him finish pumping me full with his spunk and then collapse on top of me. Then, as we both struggled to catch our breaths, I could wrap my arms around him in a tender embrace.

We silently held each other for a few minutes to let our heads clear and then a moment of pure comedy. With some rational thought returning to me, I finally became conscious of the river of cum that was oozing out of my cunt and soaking into the bed sheets. Ace, on the other hand, had the sudden realisation that he had been wearing his sandals this whole time. He was horrified at himself! I just found it very amusing, more so his reaction than anything else, but I also felt a little bit of pride in knowing that he had been so focused on me that he'd been oblivious to his footwear this whole time.

In hindsight, it's almost comical that I ended up doing the exact opposite; whereas he kept his footwear on throughout our passionate love making, I forgot to put mine back on after we had done the deed. It's quite amazing the things you can miss whilst still basking in the afterglow of a satisfying fuck.

And that was about it really. We cuddled for a little longer before returning to our previous spots at the bar, just a few minutes ahead of Jess also re-emerging, having milked her second punter of the day for all the nut that he was worth. Not a bad bit of afternoon's work by either of us.

Scissor Me Timbers

God, the last 2 weeks have been absolute torture for me. But, if you bear with me, I'll let you know why and also fill you in on the very happy ending that I was rewarded with for enduring that torture. A happy ending that meant that I could leave this year's St. Patrick's Day party with a smile on my face despite all of my ranting that I've already done about it.

First, some background to set the scene..

Actually, I'm not quite sure where to begin because there are a few layers to this so my story might get a little convoluted. I'll apologise in advance if that happens. But let's start by going right back to the start...

If you've been following me for a while, you might have picked up on this strange relationship-thing that I've got going on with Emmy. It started a few years ago when we started to get to know each other better and she was not at all shy about telling me how attracted she was to me. Taking any possible opportunity to suggest that I should sit on her face.

I teased her incessantly about her one day maybe getting to have her wish come true. But for those teases to actually carry any weight, that actually had to be some genuine possibility of it actually happening. Anything else would just be plain mean.

So we started a game where we would leave it up to fate to decide if she should ever get lucky. A daily dice roll that she could choose to take would give her a 1 in 100 chance of getting to have her way with me. And, on one occasion, she did in fact hit the jackpot.

But just one success in an entire year when, statistically speaking, she should have had a little more luck, seemed a little harsh. And, on the back of my own growing attraction for her that had come about as a consequence of our constant flirting, I genuinely wanted her to have a bit more success.

Inspiration struck and I formulated a new game for us to play in 2025. For Christmas, I gave her a very special present. A voucher booklet containing a number of sexy vouchers that she drew at random from my lucky dip. Possibilities ranged from anything getting to have a threesome with me, 69ing me or fucking me with a strap-on. Basically, all sorts of super sexy girl on girl activities for us to potentially enjoy together.

As a fan of spontaneous moments, I love the idea that she could cash in one of her vouchers at any moment. It keeps me always on edge with excitement. But, we're already into the third month of the year and not a single cash in so far.

Until a near miss a few weeks ago, that is. It was the day that Jess and Emmy conned me into getting naked by claiming it was Full Frontal Friday. After Jess left, Emmy and I flirted all after before eventually ending up in each other's arms. Now, this is where I need to point out that I hadn't got myself off all week, so having my naked body pressed against hers was making me extremely aroused. And that experience was very definitely very mutual.

I strongly suggested that she should finally cash in one of her vouchers and she was so close. So, so close. Time was not on our side though so we agreed to meet up that evening to finally do the deed. I was aching to cum after almost a week without but I resolved to save myself for her and not give into the urges in the meantime. What made it even more exciting was that I'd urged her not to reveal before time which one of the vouchers she was planning on redeeming until the actual time came.

Likewise, I won't reveal to you exactly which one of the vouchers ended up in her booklet because it will be much more interesting for you to find out as they get cashed in throughout the year.

Unfortunately I too was going to be kept waiting on this one. Things got in the way and our rendezvous failed to happen. It happens. Emmy was very apologetic so I let her off with the condition that she would be obliged to give me one extra orgasm, whenever the moment finally arrived. And, on the topic of orgasms, I was still determined to continue saving myself in the meantime, even if I had no real idea how long I would be kept waiting to finally cum. Days? Weeks? I had no idea. And, as painful as it was to endure, I keep coming back to the thrill of having it taken out of my hands.

Anyway, another week passed, for which I was largely absent due to illness, but I held true to my resolve. I almost cracked once or twice but I just about resisted the tortuous need to cum. And this is where we finally circle back round to the St Patrick's Day party because her first cash in finally happened.

I'd been hanging out with Jess, Chris and Reena when Emmy made a belated appearance at the party. Our table of 4 couldn't accommodate any extra body though so, instead of making her stand by herself, I hopped off my perch and cuddled up behind her.

As we all chatted, I whispered in her ear about how badly I wanted to cum but that I wouldn't do it until it was with her. Really, I was just trying to plant the seed in her mind that she should cash in very soon. Given the relatively late hour, I was not expecting it there and then though. 

The excitement when she started thumbing through her booklet to pick a voucher got me so turned on and wet. The anticipation of weeks of sexual frustration about to be released caused me to soak my panties right there and then. Grabbing myself a handful of her massive tits probably didn't help the state of my panties either. Jess was insistent that Emmy should get them out so I was kind of obliged to provided a very literal helping hand with that.

With a quiet agreement between us that it was time for us to stop teasing and jsut fucking do it, all we needed to do was excuse ourselves from our group and find a private spot to get in on. Which brings me to another annoyance about this particular event. Past ones have had ample dedicate space for lovers and fuckers to occupy and get jiggy with it. But this party? Basically two small houses and a tiny wooden hut. The houses were both occupied so the hut it was...

I took Emmy's hand in mine and led her away from our friends to our selected spot. It was hardly glamour but did offer a little bit of privacy from the perving eyes of friends.

Once inside, I turned to Emmy and instructed her to undress me. She removed my dress, letting it drop to the floor to reveal my matching Irish-themed bra and panties that I had worn especially for if something like this should happen.

She unhooked my bra but left it sitting loose on my shoulders. Leaning forward to kiss her super hard nipples, I gave my body a little jiggle to encourage my bra to join my dress on the floor, which it duly did.

And then onto my panties. Before Emmy could remove them, I held her hand against the outside of them to feel exactly how wet she had already made me. Then, she dropped to her knees, slowly peeling my panties down my thighs as she descended.

I was so fucking turned on. It was finally going to happen. She was finally going to take advantage of one of her vouchers. But which one, you might be asking? So, I suppose this is as good a time as any to reveal which one she had chosen.

"Scissor Me Timbers" was her pick, which you may have correctly guessed entitled her to a bit of scissoring action. Something that would be a new experience for me but one that I had been very keen to try with her for quite some time. Indeed, when I started brainstorming ideas for sexy activities to put in my lucky dip, this was one of the very first I came up with.

Strictly speaking, we should have gotten down to it right away but I was prepared to be a little more fluid in order to make the most of this momentous occasion. I placed my foot on her chest and slowly eased her backwards until she was laying on the ground so I could sit on top of her. Straddling her chest, I offered her a quick taste of my pussy before we moved onto the main course.

Of course she accepted, so I slithered my slick slit over her heaving boobs, leaving a damp trail as I did so, and parked my cunt directly over her mouth. She wasted no time in getting to work, although she was in no rush either. Instead of voraciously diving in, she teased and teased. Gradually giving me more until she was finally gorging herself on my sweet cunt.

It felt like heaven and several weeks without a single orgasm quickly put me on the brink of righting that wrong. As she licked and slurped and sucked at my aching clit, I curled into a little ball on her face as a wave of pleasure overwhelmed me. I genuinely don't remember the last time that I felt such relief when cumming. All of that determination to save myself for her paid off and then some as she turned me into a quivering wreck. And that was just the warm-up round!

So, on to the main event. I shuffled by myself backwards down the length of her body, leaving another trail of juices on her bare skin as my slickened slit rubbed down her. Taking a pause once between her legs, I awkwardly tried to interlock our bodies but my inexperience told. Emmy, on the other hand, is very experienced at this particular activity, so I allowed her to take the lead and maneuver us into a position where she was still laying on her back and I was upright.

Taking it steady, I began rubbing my pussy against her inner thigh before then pressing it against her equally wet pussy. As our lips met and mingled, it felt incredible. But still, I took things steady, trying to find a nice groove that worked for both of us. It honestly felt out of this world for me and I suspect that Emmy would tell you a similar story because her eyes soon rolled back in her head as she equalled my tally of one orgasm so far. And it was not over in an instant either, this was a long, drawn out orgasm. Emmy pleaded with me to keep going while she rode it out.

Seeing her cum from my humping only heightened my own arousal and I was soon well on my way to another orgasm. At this point, I was done with taking things steady and just wanted to go all in and lose myself in the passion and desire. With Emmy's permission, I began grinding harder and faster against her. Giving in to subconscious impulses, I let my hips move of their own accord.

Again, what was working for me was clearly also working for Emmy as well as she orgasmed for a second time. This astonished me. I was sure that I would hit number two before she did. The desire to catch up pushed me to hump and grind with every last vigour I had.

I moved one of her legs so it was facing directly up in the air, wrapped my arms around it and clung tightly onto it to anchor myself as my hips threatened to take control of my whole body. Sparks of electricity were shooting throughout me. I was so fucking close. And then it arrived.

My entire body spasmed as orgasm number two took grip of me. I crumple backwards, no longer able to keep myself upright, but my hips didn't miss a single beat as they kept pumping back and forth. If my first orgasm had been about relief of finally getting to cum, this one was just pure pleasure. With the added satisfaction of knowing that I had equalised with Emmy's cum total.

Gradually, I eased back until I stopped altogether. Lying in a quivering heap between Emmy's legs, both of us covered in a mixture of each other's juices, I struggled to catch my breath. Emmy took good care of me though. Untangling our interwoven bodies, she crawled into my arms as we both took a moment of respite to recover from our furious fucking.

Don't think for a second that I was done with her yet though. A brief bit of recovery time was needed but I was by no means ready to call time on our fun. However, I was mindful of her as well. Given our relatively late start time, I didn't want to take it for granted that Emmy could keep going. I didn't want to be selfish and keep her up if she really needed to get off to bed or anything like that.

I'll admit it; I felt a little awkward and embarrassed by doing it but I asked Emmy if it was OK for us to keep going for a little long. I had nothing to worry about though. She was just as keen as I was to not let the night fizzle out just yet.

There was no rush though, We were both content in each other's arms until our heads had cleared and we were both ready to go again. I mean, I suspect Emmy was actually ready to go right away and she was just being kind by letting me take a moment.

Her kindness was rewarded though, as it only took 5 or so minutes for my mind to switch back to the task at hand. Remember, Emmy owed me an extra orgasm from our missed rendezvous a week back so I was keen to cash that in.

As before, I let Emmy take the lead as she wriggled back into position with our bodies interlocked. Not quite the same as before though. This time she positioned us so that we could both be humping each other with equal freedom.

There was certainly some more awkwardness on my part as I tried to figure out the mechanics of the situation and find the best motion to make sure that my swollen bean was tribbing against hers. Some trial error as I fidgeted and squirmed around. Emmy was very patient with my inexperience but eventually I found something that worked nicely for me. Very nicely indeed.

My clit was already so fucking sensitive but now it was on a whole other level that was driving me wild. We both bucked and gyrated like crazy as we humped each other like there was no tomorrow. And, in no time at all, I could feel myself growing close to orgasm number 3.

Then, just as I was about to let Emmy know how close I was getting, she did the exact same to me. Hearing her tell me that she was about to cum triggered something inside me. I desperately wanted to suggest that we should try to cum together at the very same time, But before I could say a single word, I was cumming harder than I have in a long time. It hit me like an absolute freight train and I was completely powerless to hold it back until Emmy was ready to cum.

I came long and hard as Emmy, spurred on by me moving back ahead of her in our cum count, began to cum herself whilst I was still in the grip of my own mind blowing orgasm. We'd just about managed to get them to overlap.

Honestly, there are no words to describe that third and final orgasm of the night. I feel like that one truly was the realisation of weeks over sexual tension that I had bottled up and held back, which was finally smashing open the door that had been holding it prisoner deep within me. I'm not sure if I have ever been left in such a cum-induced stupor ever before in my life. I was lost in a haze and unable to function any longer.

Once again, Emmy looked after me despite not being in a much more functioning state. Somehow she extricated herself from between my wet and sticky thighs and tenderly wrapped her body around mine. All I could do was lie there and mumble incoherently as my brain tried to reset after being blown away.

I don't know if Emmy could have kept going. For my part, I was done. I had loved every single moment of one of the most memorable hook-ups that I will ever have but I had nothing left in me. I was all fucked out and, once I regained some control over my trembling body, I would be ready to curl up and get some well-earned sleep.

So there you go - the latest step on my journey from being Em-curious to Em-sexual. And, like you, I have no idea when the next step will be taken. Only Emmy herself has control over that and it is thrilling to know that my fate is in her hands. Hopefully it won't take quite as long for her to redeem her next voucher. I won't be holding off on cumming until then though. It was a thrilling challenge to do it this time but I've got needs, you know.

As a final thought before I leave you, I wonder, should I roll my sexy voucher scheme out to a few other peeps as well? Maybe give away the occasional lucky dip opportunity to a lucky recipient? What do you think? Would you sign up as a potential voucher winner? Maybe if I get a few volunteers leave a comment or message me, I'll do a little raffle and reward a few of them...

Happy Irish-culture Appropriation Day!

That's right, I still can't stand what St. Patrick's Day has become and I have zero interest in celebrating a day that has become a global phenomenon associated with partying, excessive drinking, and commercial exploitation. Apparently, I am along in that thinking so, of course, there was a another huge turn out for the community event to celebrate it, which I will get on to in a minute.

Firstly, for me, one of the most troubling aspects of modern St. Patrick’s Day celebrations is the widespread cultural appropriation. People of non-Irish descent enthusiastically participate in festivities while often reducing Irish culture to a series of clichés.

Symbols like shamrocks, leprechauns, and pots of gold have been commodified and stripped of their historical context. The image of the mischievous leprechaun, once rooted in Irish folklore, has been turned into a caricature, reinforcing outdated and offensive stereotypes. Similarly, the phrase "Kiss Me, I’m Irish" trivialises Irish identity into a novelty rather than a legitimate cultural heritage.

The association of St. Patrick’s Day with excessive drinking further perpetuates harmful stereotypes. The depiction of the "drunken Irish" has long been used as a means of demeaning Irish people, particularly in the 19th and early 20th centuries when they were often viewed as unruly and inferior. Today, the holiday’s modern celebration—marked by pub crawls, binge drinking, and rowdy behaviour—does little to counteract these damaging narratives.

And, like many holidays, St. Patrick’s Day has been aggressively commercialised, particularly in countries such as the United States. Retailers flood the market with green merchandise, from plastic hats to novelty t-shirts emblazoned with phrases like "Let’s Get Shamrocked" and "Irish for a Day." These products, while seemingly harmless, contribute to a broader trend of reducing St. Patrick’s Day to a consumer-driven event devoid of its cultural and historical significance.

Alcohol companies, in particular, have capitalised on the holiday, promoting themed drinks and encouraging excessive consumption. Guinness, Jameson, and other alcohol brands release special promotions and advertisements reinforcing the idea that celebrating St. Patrick’s Day requires drinking to excess. This not only promotes irresponsible behaviour but also further entrenches the association between Irish identity and alcohol abuse.

Even major corporations with no connection to Irish culture leverage the holiday for marketing purposes. Fast-food chains, for example, introduce limited-edition menu items like McDonald’s Shamrock Shake, which, while popular, has little to do with Irish tradition. The commodification of St. Patrick’s Day ultimately prioritises profit over genuine cultural appreciation.

But OK, I get it. People want to let loose and party so parties are gonna be had. And if there is a community party, I'm obviously going to make an appearance to give anyone who didn't make it the low down. That doesn't mean I have to like or endorse the theme of the party though, So for that reason, I eschewed the tradition of dressing in green as a faux Irish woman. 

Instead, all you'll get from me for the 1/16th blood in me courtesy of my great great grandfather is my green lisptick. None of that gimmicky bullshit. OK, OK, I also wore so a cute matching set of green bra and panties under one of my signature red dresses because, as much as I detest the day and what it has become, I want to at least try to be a good sport about it. I even snuck off and found a quite room to take a few selfies to prove that I had some green undies on.

That said, as much as I really did make an effort to go into the event with an open mind, I have to say that it was pretty lacklustre. It really gave of the vibe of minimum effort to put on an event that just ticked a box. I suppose, thematically, given what I said before about how superficial the day has become, that is against quite appropriate. Because nothing about this party was remotely Irish apart from all the stereotypical decorations and adornments. 

Yes, we go all the leprechaun nonsense with pots of gold and lots of shamrocks. But was there even a single bit of Irish music played? Fuck no. Just the same old generic EDM shit that we get at every party. How you can put on a St' Patrick's Day party and not play any Irish music is beyond me. It's not like it's that hard to source. It's just fucking lazy.

The truth is that the only reason I hung around for more than the 10 or so minutes it took me to take a few photos was that some great company turned up, which allowed me to block out all the bullshit and forget where I actually was. And that's just about the only positive thing I have to say so I think I''ll leave it there. I'm really sorry that this is the second overwhelming negative one of these event wrap-ups that I've done in a row. Fingers crossed the next one can be more positive.